Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm ðð»ð
We are so blessed
âªSo you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?â¬
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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