my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
