Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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