Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
