how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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