dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just found puke in my bra..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
