I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he high fived his dick after we had sex
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
