I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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