the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize