wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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