And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
