Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
