I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
