I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
