im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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