I'm so fucking centered right now
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
