I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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