I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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