i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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