found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
