He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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