Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
