I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
