If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize