yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
