she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
