my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There's always time for handjobs
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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