just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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