wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
