You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
