"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize