You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
