i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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