i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
