I have demons in me.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
