Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
