I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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