there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I had to cum in my sink.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
