So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
