why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize