So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
