im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
