my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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