I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
