Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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