my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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