I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
