I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
