I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
