using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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