Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize