She's JV to your varsity
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think my fart just growled at me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
