So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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