Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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