bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
