HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
