yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
