Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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