i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
