i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
